I decided to write an article mostly for me. I already read a R.E.B.T. book called Overcoming Destructive Beliefs, Feelings, and Behaviors: New Directions for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (Psychology) written by Albert Ellis himself, the father of R.E.B.T.
I need to do the ABCDEFs of REBT with any situation and practice unconditional self-acceptance (USA) and unconditional other-acceptance (UOA) to achieve high frustration tolerance (HFT).
USA is the process of recognizing shortcomings and accepting that they are as much a part of you as your strengths.
UOA is the processes of acknowledging who an individual is without placing a weighted, global judgment upon them.
HFT wherein they withstand annoying, even highly annoying, circumstances without getting disturbed (i.e., angry, anxious, depressed, or another emotional problem).
The A in ABCDEF is the adversity. The situation itself.
For the B (irrational beliefs) Albert has these 12 items list together with their rational beliefs counterparts:
1. The idea that it is a dire necessity for adults to be loved by significant others for almost everything they do… instead of their concentrating on their own self-respect, on winning approval for practical purposes, and on loving rather than on being loved.
2. The idea that certain acts are awful or wicked, and that people who perform such acts should be severely damned… instead of the idea that certain acts are self-defeating or antisocial, and that people who perform such acts are behaving stupidly, ignorantly, or neurotically, and would be better helped to change. People’s poor behaviors do not make them rotten individuals.
3. The idea that it is horrible when things are not the way we like them to be… instead of the idea that it is too bad, that we had better try to change or control bad conditions so that they become more satisfactory, and, if that is not possible, we had better temporarily accept and gracefully lump their existence.
4. The idea that human misery is invariably externally caused and is forced on us by outside people and events… instead of the idea that neurosis is largely caused by the view that we take of unfortunate conditions.
5. The idea that if something is or may be dangerous or fearsome we should be terribly upset and endlessly obsess about it… instead of the idea that one had better frankly face it and render it non-dangerous, and, when that is not possible, accept the inevitable.
6. The idea that it is easier to avoid than to face life difficulties and self-responsibilities… instead of the idea that the so-called easy way is usually much harder in the long run.
7. The idea that we absolutely need something other or stronger or greater than ourself on which to rely… instead of the idea that it is better to take the risks of thinking and acting less dependently.
8. The idea that we should be thoroughly competent, intelligent, and achieving in all possible respects… instead of the idea that we would prefer to do well rather than always need to do well, and accept ourself as a quite imperfect creature, who has general human limitations and specific fallibilities.
9. The idea that because something once strongly affected our life, it should indefinitely affect it… instead of the idea that we can learn from our past experiences but not be overly-attached to or prejudiced by them.
10. The idea that we must have certain and perfect control over things… instead of the idea that the world is full of improbability and chance and that we can still enjoy life despite this.
11. The idea that human happiness can be achieved by inertia and inaction… instead of the idea that we tend to be happiest when we are vitally absorbed in creative pursuits, or when we are devoting ourselves to people or projects outside ourselves.
12. The idea that we have virtually no control over our emotions and that we cannot help feeling disturbed about things… instead of the idea that we have real control over our destructive emotions – if we choose to work at changing the “musturbatory” hypotheses which we often employ to create them.
For the C (consequence) I need to consider what I did as a result of A and B and how I felt.
For the D (disputation) I need to answer these 4 questions:
1. Is the belief actually true? If so, what evidence is there?
2. Is there an alternative explanation?
3. What are the implications of your belief, if it were true? How probable are these implications and are they really that bad?
4. Is what I’m thinking useful to me?
For the E, effective new philosophy, they can recognize and reinforce the notion no evidence exists for any psycho pathological must, ought or should. I just need to copy and develop the rational idea from the corresponding irrational idea in the list above.
And F – the developed feelings of one’s self either at point and after point C or at point after point E.